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The Spew Files

Recently I shared on Facebook I was in a park and pushing Talia on the swing and she spewed. I didn’t have a facewasher quickly to hand so without thinking I mopped it up with my scarf. Is this true love or just truly gross?

When did I cross the line when spew become part of my everyday life? Whether on me, on my daughter, on the pram, on anything really….

My only other relationship with spew has been after a big night around the toilet bowl or if I have been really, really sick. Just the thought of those nights in itself make me want to spew now.

But with a child, it is just normal. When did this happen? How did this happen?

It is not unusual to be heading out the door and a mini spew happens and I have a white spot on my top or pants and what do I do….OMG…yes I sometime just rub it in and go …”oh well”! Of course it depends on who I am seeing.

In general if it is another mum(s) it seems acceptable when I have to make that quick decision “do I get changed/will I have time to get changed!!!” And if the spew is a bit worse than normal (like all over the shoulder and I still leave the house!) I often get that little wry smile of “oh dear” from those lovely mums. Oh lovely mums!

Now you might be thinking of the poor darl has reflux. Nope! She just like to do sporadic little spews every now and again – ahh so lovely!

See Exhibit A from this morning – all over my top!

My carpet is another case. Oh poor dear carpet. Lucky I can steam clean you. I turn away for two seconds and the little might have done some crafty little spew. I have tried to buy some carpet stain spotting concoctions (multiple bottles/sprays!!) but my carpet still doesn’t really look like it did before I had a child. Is this a mark of a house with children? I don’t think I thought about this before? Perhaps floorboards are a better idea?

See Exhibit B – any suggestions for best cleaning products for spew??

As Emily Lingier says “they say you are a parent when you run towards spew rather than away from it”.

Well then, I must be a parent – a totally spew-stained, spew-tolerant, spew-happy parent.

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